Starting over again

After complaining the other night about not starting my period, I did today. While I'm extremely happy to be on my way to trying to conceive again, I'm a little sad, too.

When I got pregnant with Jenna, I thought I was finished with all of it. I didn't think I would ever have to take my basal body temperatures first thing in the morning. I didn't think I would have to chart at www.fertilityfriend.com and analyze every dip or spike and every symptom. I thought I was done peeing on a stick forever.

I thought I was through with the pain that comes month after month when your period arrives or you get a negative on a pregnancy test. I was really looking forward to not going through that or any of the rest of these things ever again.

In fact, I was planning to have an IUD put in after Jenna was born, and later, I was either going to get a tubal or Brian was going to have a vasectomy. We knew we would be done with two children.

So, now I have to start all over. This cycle, we will be using birth control, but I'm still going to take my temperature, just to get back in the rhythm of doing so. When I became pregnant with Jenna, I put the thermometer in my night table drawer. I've gotten in out, and it's laying by my lamp, ready for me to take my temperature in the morning. Next cycle, I will be using my fertility monitor, and I do have the test sticks ready for it.

I just wish I didn't have to go through all of this again, because it would mean Jenna was still alive and waiting to be delivered in December.