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Saturday, September 13, 2008

Nobody but me

Yesterday was one month since Jenna was born, and nobody remembered-- nobody but me. I don't blame Brian so much as he has been working so much lately that he wasn't even sure of the date.

I thought my mom would remember or my sister, my aunts, my friends, someone besides me. I wanted someone to say, "I remember and I'm sorry." No one did, and I didn't feel like telling anyone. I wanted them to remember her on their own. I bought two balloons, a pink one and a white one, yesterday and released them on my lunch hour. I didn't put a note with them. Maybe next time I will.

I just wanted someone to remember. Is she going to be forgotten forever? Is my mom always going to leave her out when she says how many grandchildren she has? People don't ask how many grandchildren you have that is living; they ask how many you have. She has five altogether. She shouldn't forget about my Jenna.

Am I doomed to be the only one who remembers her? I just want her life to have mattered. I told my counselor that, and she said, "She did matter. She mattered to you," and yes, that may be true, but if she had lived and been healthy, she would have touched countless lives. I still want that for her. It just seems like nobody remembers her, nobody but me anyway.


Anonymous said...

Jenna has touched my life.

jenfnolf said...

I'm sorry,lovey. I hope you have some peace today. ((hugs))

Erin said...

On behalf of the Trisomy 18 Foundation, I want to thank you for creating a legacy page for Jenna. The picture that your sister-in-law drew for you is beautiful. It is so important for us to share our children and our stories with each other. I am sorry that nobody mentioned Jenna on her one month birthday. I know how much it hurts when people stop mentioning their names. My daughter, Molly, passed away on March 13th. If you would like to learn more about her, you can visit her legacy page at Thinking of you and Jenna.

Erin Brown
on behalf of the staff and volunteers at the Trisomy 18 Foundation

Jennifer Currey said...

I know that Jenna has touched many lives and will continue to do so through her wonderful mommy.