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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

One week post partum -- so Thankful

I promised to post pictures last week after I got home, not anticipating how busy I would be with a six-year-old, a new baby and school work. I'm finally caught up with my schoolwork, and right now, Ella is sleeping in her swing and Tessa is in bed. I can't get into my photobucket account tonight for some reason, so I thought I would post a link to the ones I've posted on Facebook. Some of you have already seen these.

I'm feeling pretty good, although I have been a little weepy the last few days. It's not really depression, mostly just the baby blues and not really that bad. I have gone back on my Zoloft, though, because I'm prone to depression anyway.

I never realized how bad I felt before she was born until just a few days ago. I'm feeling better than I've felt in months. I think the pre-eclampsia must have been affecting me before we discovered it along with the all the other aches and pains associated with pregnancy.

I was hoping to breastfeed, but it just isn't working out like I had hoped. Ella was born with either a natal or neonatal tooth. A natal tooth is one that is present at birth, and a neonatal tooth is one that comes in during the first month of life. When she was born, it looked like a cyst on her gum, but the tooth was through the gum within two days. So, I'm not sure which it is. Either way, she can't latch onto the boob. She even has trouble latching on to a standard bottle nipple.

I've been taking some herbs to help with my milk supply, but it's not working. The lactation consultant said that women with PCOS tend to have supply problems, as do women who have had pre-eclampsia because of the stress on our bodies. Ella is getting mainly formula, and truth be told, I'm Ok with that. I know breast is best, but I also know that I can't stress over it. If I decide to quit, I know I gave it my best shot.

I am pretty exhausted tonight to tell the truth. Ella must be going through a growth spurt because she started wanting to eat every two hours starting last night about 10p.m. Since Tessa is out of school for the holiday, I didn't get to nap today when she did. Then, I didn't get one when Brian got home today because I had to take a test for school. Brian promised me I could sleep in tomorrow morning, for which I'm very thankful.

That leads me to the season. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I like that it's about being thankful for what you already have. I love the food. I love the weather and the atmosphere. Two years ago, I thought Thanksgiving would be ruined for me forever because we know then that my granny wouldn't be around too much longer. She died Dec. 5. When I got pregnant with Ella and found out her due date was around Thanksgiving, I was so afraid of losing her and knew if I did, I would never enjoy Thankgsiving again. Then, I thought Christmas was ruined forever because of it being Jenna's due date.

To tell the truth, these holidays will always be bittersweet for me. Ella being born the week before Thanksgiving makes it a lot better, but there will always be a touch of sadness because of what happened with Granny. I'm not sure Christmas will ever be the same now, but I'm hoping this year will be a lot better than last.

This Thanksgiving I am so thankful for a new baby girl who is healthy and happy. I'm thankful for a big girl who is a great big sister and who has adjusted to the whole situation much better than I ever anticipated. I'm thankful for a husband who stepped up to the plate to fill in for me when I was on bedrest and who has been trying his best with Ella in spite of the fact newborns scare him to death. I'm thankful for an extended family who loves us all.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Ella's birth story

I just got finished feeding her and now can't go back to sleep, so I thought I would write out her birth story. It was pretty uneventful to tell the truth, which is great.

We got to the hospital about 10:30 p.m., on Monday to be induced due to high blood pressure and low amniotic fluid, and by the time they got me hooked up to the monitors and my IV in, I was having contractions on my own. The doctor decided not to do the vaginal meds to make me dilate, since I was already having contractions. These weren't bad at all.

They started pitocin through the IV at 5 a.m. I was about a 2 then. The contractions started coming harder, but they weren't bad at all. When they picked up about two hours later, I asked for my epidural. They checked me, and I was at three, so they let me get it. It was wonderful, and the anthesiologist didn't hurt me at all.

A few hours later, about 10 a.m., I started feeling contractions on one side, so I told the nurse. She upped the meds for the epidural. I had been laying on my side to keep my blood pressure down, and right after that, it was time to roll to the over side. All that extra medicine went to that side, and my one leg was paralyzed. I couldn't feel it at all. It freaked me out a little. I started to have a panic attack, but DH calmed me down a little. It was the most awful feeling in the world.

They checked me at 11 a.m., and I was only at a 4. I almost freaked out then because I wasn't sure how long I was going to last with my leg as numb as it was. The doctor decided to up my pitocin. Probably an hour later, I felt something different, a sense of pressure. Dh went and got the nurse, who checked me and said we were ready to have a baby. She called my doctor who came over.

I pushed for four sets of three, and Ella was born. DH nearly passed out, but the doctor made him turn around and sit down by my head and he was fine after that. She cut me because I had started to tear, and she said it would have been a massive tear if she hadn't. I am ok with it and less sore than I was when I had a second degree tear with my oldest DD.

She weighed six pounds, nine ounces and was 19 inches long. She's a chunky little monkey with chubby cheeks and double chin. Tessa is in love with her and is a great big sister. I was so worried because I was afraid she would be jealous because it's just been DH, me and her for the past six and a half years, but so far so good. I know it might be different when we get home.

I will always miss our Jenna, who was stillborn last year due to Trisomy 18, but my arms don't feel quite as empty as they did for the longest time anymore. My rainbow baby is finally here, and she has a big sister who is watching her from above, making sure she is fine.

I'll post pics tomorrow when we get home.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Ella will be here tomorrow

I've been going twice a week to the doctor. Mondays have been for a biophysical profile ultrsound and check up and Thursdays have been for a non-stress test and BP check.

Ella has looked good on everything, and last Monday, my fluid even went up some. However, my BP continued to rise, although it would go down if I rested. I had to go into labor and delivery one time again to be monitored, but they were able to always get the blood pressure down.

Well, today, I had another biophysical profile. Even though my ticker on this blog says I'm 38 weeks today, my doctor prefers to say I'm 37 and a half weeks due to an early ultrasound I had. She really wanted to try to get me to 38 weeks, but the biophysical profile today showed that my fluid was low again. My blood pressure, although not as high as it has been, was still up.

Dr. McGowen thinks it's medically time. The ultrasound showed that Ella weighed six pounds, 15 ounces, but I don't think she's that big. I think she's probably around six pounds. She doesn't foresee any problems with Ella, but said with her being 37 and a half weeks, she might need a little oxygen to help her breath. I sure hope not.

I go in after Tessa's bedtime tonight and will have medicine inserted vaginally at midnight. Four hours later, they will start the pitocin. I'm not a natural labor type of girl, so I'll be getting my epidural. I am so hoping for a good labor and delivery experience with Ella. I had such a horrible one with Tessa.

Hopefully, my next post will be full of pictures of Ella. I'm so nervous, scared, excited all at the same time.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Passed the non-stress test

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to post. Ella passed the non-stress test with flying colors. She's doing great even with the low fluid, blood flow restriction and deteriorating placenta.

My blood pressure is still creeping up. I had to go in today for another ultrasound for them to do a biophysical profile. My fluid level is a little lower at 5, but Ella passed with a eight out of eight. I have to go back on Thursday for another non-stress test.

Today, I also had a check-up. My blood pressure then was 142/96. I knew it was high. My head was killing me, but my swelling is down from last week and didn't have any protein in my urine. We are going to try for a few more days. She checked me, and I am one centimeter dilated. She could also feel Ella's head.

She repeated again today that I won't go past 38 weeks. In fact, if I make it that far, she will induce me. She said I don't need to go any farther than that. But, in her personal opinion, I won't even make it that far. She's predicting we will go in the next week to week in a half.

Brian cleaned the baby's room today. He scrubbed down the walls and the carpet. Now, he has to go shopping. I need preemie clothes because Ella will be little, a few baby washclothes, a few baby towels, some more blankets, some preemie size gowns and newborn gowns, too, a swaddle blanket and a swing. Brian is planning to go shopping for all of that later this week.

I am feeling all right. My head aches a lot but Tylenol helps. My cousin and his wife stopped by tonight to deliver a present, and I felt so bad because the house is not company ready right now. Brian is doing his best, but he just isn't the world's greatest housekeeper. I don't like having people over unless the house is spotless, but if they can't understand, they aren't worth worrying about. I think they do though.