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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

One week post partum -- so Thankful

I promised to post pictures last week after I got home, not anticipating how busy I would be with a six-year-old, a new baby and school work. I'm finally caught up with my schoolwork, and right now, Ella is sleeping in her swing and Tessa is in bed. I can't get into my photobucket account tonight for some reason, so I thought I would post a link to the ones I've posted on Facebook. Some of you have already seen these.

I'm feeling pretty good, although I have been a little weepy the last few days. It's not really depression, mostly just the baby blues and not really that bad. I have gone back on my Zoloft, though, because I'm prone to depression anyway.

I never realized how bad I felt before she was born until just a few days ago. I'm feeling better than I've felt in months. I think the pre-eclampsia must have been affecting me before we discovered it along with the all the other aches and pains associated with pregnancy.

I was hoping to breastfeed, but it just isn't working out like I had hoped. Ella was born with either a natal or neonatal tooth. A natal tooth is one that is present at birth, and a neonatal tooth is one that comes in during the first month of life. When she was born, it looked like a cyst on her gum, but the tooth was through the gum within two days. So, I'm not sure which it is. Either way, she can't latch onto the boob. She even has trouble latching on to a standard bottle nipple.

I've been taking some herbs to help with my milk supply, but it's not working. The lactation consultant said that women with PCOS tend to have supply problems, as do women who have had pre-eclampsia because of the stress on our bodies. Ella is getting mainly formula, and truth be told, I'm Ok with that. I know breast is best, but I also know that I can't stress over it. If I decide to quit, I know I gave it my best shot.

I am pretty exhausted tonight to tell the truth. Ella must be going through a growth spurt because she started wanting to eat every two hours starting last night about 10p.m. Since Tessa is out of school for the holiday, I didn't get to nap today when she did. Then, I didn't get one when Brian got home today because I had to take a test for school. Brian promised me I could sleep in tomorrow morning, for which I'm very thankful.

That leads me to the season. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I like that it's about being thankful for what you already have. I love the food. I love the weather and the atmosphere. Two years ago, I thought Thanksgiving would be ruined for me forever because we know then that my granny wouldn't be around too much longer. She died Dec. 5. When I got pregnant with Ella and found out her due date was around Thanksgiving, I was so afraid of losing her and knew if I did, I would never enjoy Thankgsiving again. Then, I thought Christmas was ruined forever because of it being Jenna's due date.

To tell the truth, these holidays will always be bittersweet for me. Ella being born the week before Thanksgiving makes it a lot better, but there will always be a touch of sadness because of what happened with Granny. I'm not sure Christmas will ever be the same now, but I'm hoping this year will be a lot better than last.

This Thanksgiving I am so thankful for a new baby girl who is healthy and happy. I'm thankful for a big girl who is a great big sister and who has adjusted to the whole situation much better than I ever anticipated. I'm thankful for a husband who stepped up to the plate to fill in for me when I was on bedrest and who has been trying his best with Ella in spite of the fact newborns scare him to death. I'm thankful for an extended family who loves us all.


Anonymous said...

She is gorgeous!!!!

Mirna said...

I am so happy things are going great with Tessa and Ella - one more tick on the list, I say! lol Yeah Tamara I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to juggle so many things at once - but don't despair, soon you will be settled into a routine and things will just 'fall' into place. Main thing here is: rest when you can or just be gentle on yourself. Enjoy every moment because they grow up in an instant... or so it feels like that too me. Lots and lots of hugs! :)

Basha's Mama said...

I'm glad to know that you're doing well. Just shoot me an email if you need any help with Spring registration. I had problems with my supply too. I never was told it was a problem with PCOS - makes sense now! You're right not to stress over it. I nursed what I could and bottle fed for the rest and we're all just fine. :)

Judy A.

Reese said...

Thanks for sharing the pics! I hope that all continues to go well.

Please know that breastfeeding does not need to be an all or none thing. My milk did not come in until 10 days, so my daughter was supplemented until then. Then I exclusively bf until I had to go back to work, where I pumped very little, but I still fed her in the evenings and the weekends.

I am still breastfeeding in the morning and evening at 11 months, and she gets 3 bottles and table food a day.

Do what ever you feel is best. Either way, she will be fine!

{Big hugs}