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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Going to Atlanta

Last week, when Dr. M called to give me the news of the FISH results, she said I could do labor and delivery at a hospital in Nashville. She informed me that I wouldn't be able to do it at the hospital in Murfreesboro because they are owned by St. Thomas, a Catholic affiliate.

What she didn't know was that the hospitals in Nashville had decided to stop offering this to mothers who NEED to end the pregnancy early due to a fetal anomoly. It had been a while since she had had a patient whose baby had Trisomy 18 and was going to terminate, and that patient was able to go to Nashville.

When we met with her on Tuesday to discuss the full results, she then informed us of this. We could have gone to an abortion clinic in Nashville, but we would have been faced with a group of women who WANTED to abort. I just don't think I could handle that, and Dr. M didn't think I should have to. She suggested a place in Atlanta.

This place offers their services to any woman, but they have a special program just for women who are needing to end their pregnancy early due to a fetal problem. I think this is a good thing, even though I still feel like we are sneaking away to do something wrong.

Here is what I'm upset about. When I called to make my appointment, I was asked if I had Medicaid. When I told them no, private insurance, I was informed they didn't take it. I would have to pay out of pocket and submit a claim to my insurance company. When I called my insurance company, they informed me I would have to pay out of pocket for it. I asked if I could appeal, and she said yes, but it wouldn't do any good.

The last thing a woman needs when she is going through this is to worry about payment. She also shouldn't have to worry about going to a clinic where she will be met with women who are happy about ending their pregnancy. Maybe I should start a non-profit up just to help women in this situation. We are making a heart-breaking decision. We shouldn't have to worry about paying for it or about seeing a reminder of someone giving up something we want more than anything.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Bad news

I have not posted since I had the amniocentesis done. I just didn't have it in me. Last Wednesday, we found out that the initial FSH results showed Trisomy 18. The full results came back the same. Our precious baby girl has this terrible disorder.

We decided we had to give her a name right away. I said something about Mary Grace, but "T" said she didn't like it. She liked Jenna Grace better, so that is what her name will be. I feel like she will never get to know her sister, so this may be one way she can feel close to her.

We spoke to our ob/gyn yesterday. She told us the baby will be severely affected by the Trisomy 18. She has clubbed feet and the cystic hygroma had grown since the first level 2 ultrasound. My amniotic fluid is very low, indicating a problem with her kidneys. She will suffer if she makes it through birth.

I just can't do that to a child of mine. I can't bring her into the world, which is already hard enough, only to hurt and be in pain and never be able to understand why she is hurting. It isn't fair to her, and it's not fair to "B" and I or to "T".

I wish I had the strength to carry to term, but I don't. I'm not that strong. Every kick is a cruel reminder that I'm not going to go home with a child in December, that she will never grow up and never be whole. How can I stand that for the next five months? I can't do it. It would drive me crazy.

I have agonized and agonized over this decision. I'm not sleeping well at all. I wake up, and the first thing I think of is my baby and whether she is still alive or not. If I don't feel her move, I wonder the same thing. I know I can't do this for the next five months.

So, we are ending the pregnancy early. I hate the word terminate or abortion. To me, that implies that this is something we wanted to do, that we had a choice. We don't, not for us. We would not be ending this pregnancy if this disease was compatible with life, but it's not.

I will have to travel to Atlanta, which is whole other post in itself. I will write more about that later.

I just wanted to say that right now, I need support, not judgment. Even those who don't agree with what I'm doing have to know that I'm doing this out of love for my child and that it hurts me to end a much wanted pregnancy.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Missing my granny

We've been really lucky in my family. No one in my generation has ever lost a baby. None of my mother's siblings ever lost a child either. Her first cousin's little girl died of a brain tumor, but that was several years before I was born.

My granny, however, lost two. Her first-born son, Ronnie, died due to a heart defect. Back then, they called them blue babies. He had a hole in his heart, and in the 1940s, medical technology wasn't modern enough to correct it. She told me many times about him, about his birth, how they discovered it, and the day he died. He didn't really die from the hole in his heart. Instead, he contracted pneumonia, and she tried to get him to a doctor to help him. But, even if she had, he had no hope. She found out not long after he died that she was pregnant again -- with my uncle. Losing Ronnie broke her heart, but she knew she had to go on for her older two daughters and the one she was carrying.

His death affected her for the rest of her life. She always worried over the boys in the family and their health. Not to say she didn't worry about us girls, but the boys, well, she thought they were fragile. I think she knew the girls took after her and were stubborn and strong.

She also lost her last baby, a little girl. She hadn't felt the baby move for a while and went to the doctor, who couldn't find the heartbeat and knew the baby had died. The cord wrapped around the baby's neck and killed her. Her doctor thought it would be better if Granny went into labor naturally and didn't take the baby. She carried the baby around, dead, for the next month. I admire her strength. I'm not sure I could do that. Of course, the baby was born still, and she grieved for her, too. Granny didn't mind talking to me about most things, but she never said much about this last baby. If she had lived, her name would have been Nancy Elizabeth, after Granny's momma.

If Granny was still here with us, I'm not sure what she would say to me. Honestly, she probably wouldn't have to say anything to me at all. She'd just take my hand and give it a squeeze or wrap her arms around me and just hold me. Sometimes no words are needed between two people who love each other. I really miss her hands and can sometimes still feel them holding mine. Hopefully, I'll be able to feel them Friday when I go for the amnio.

Here's my granny in better days before she got sick.

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Getting so nervous

The closer we get to Friday, the more nervous I become. I have to admit that I'm scared of having the amnio done, not just because of the pain, but also because of some of the risks. I know they are minute, but what if this is a healthy pregnancy and I miscarriage? I would hate myself forever.

Also, as long as I haven't had the test, I can pretend that everything is ok. But, the not knowing is also driving me crazy. I want to start planning. I want to pick out things for the nursery. I want to buy equipment, and I want to pick a name. I just want to be happy in this pregnancy.

Even though this baby is very much wanted (and even though we did have help conceiving), I was in disbelief when I found out I was pregnant, and even scared to be honest. I had my moments of "What the hell was I thinking?" I mean, "T" is starting kindergarten, and we were beginning all over again with this baby. Now, I'm wondering if those thoughts caused this. I know, I know, it's stupid and it's just guilt, but I can't help it.

"B" says when he's dreamed of this baby, he's dreamed of a blank face. I haven't had any kind of intuition about whether this is a girl or a boy, even though I knew from the beginning that "T" was a girl. Both of these things scare me. I don't understand why Trisomy 18 has to exist at all.

No more research

For the past week, I have spent most of my spare time on the Internet reading stories about Trisomy 18 pregnancies and babies.

I've gone over stories, my heart breaking when there are similarities and jumping for joy when everything was different. I'm analyzing every little thing that is happening.

I've read stories about those who have terminated early or those who have induced early or those who have carried to term. I've cried over babies who have died and families who have been shattered by Trisomy 18.

So, I have decided no more research. I will still talk about it, still think about it, but I'm finished reading. It's doing me no good right now. I can't make any decisions about anything until I know one way or another. Guessing just isn't going to do any good.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Hoping for the best

Although we are preparing for the worst, we are also hoping for the best. We have not told "T" about any of the problems. I don't want to tell her anything and put her through any pain when we don't know for sure.

We are still discussing names. We watched the movie Game Plan the other night, and "T" now likes Payton for a girl. "B" isn't too crazy about it, but I kind of like it, which is odd because I've been very into traditional names this pregnancy.

We are also going in the next few days to get "T" a new bed. The baby will use her bed, which is a convertible. "T" is going to get all new bedding, and we are going to take down her Dora wall hangings and probably do something with fairies or unicorns, even though she wants puppy bedding. But, she told me, "I don't care if the covers on the bed matches the stuff on the wall," so I will go with what she wants.

For the past two days, I've really been feeling the baby move a lot. Every time s/he does, I smile. To me, this is a good sign. I've read stories about Trisomy 18 pregnancies, and most of the women didn't feel the baby move until much, much later due to the small size. Many have also said their baby wasn't all that active, and this baby has been. I know nothing is 100 percent, and I probably shouldn't take it as a good sign, but I do. I guess I need all the positives I can right now.

But, in some ways, I feel stuck. I'm afraid to think ahead because I don't know what will happen with this pregnancy. I don't want to get my hopes up and feel so positive about it all, when it could all turn out to be very negative. If I was to think completely positive about all of this and the worst possible news came back, I think I would fall apart. So, even though I'm hoping for the best, I still know the worst could come.

Preparing for the worst

Although B and I have talked about what we will do if the baby does have Trisomy 18, we have not made any decisions. We are discussing it and want to make the best possible decision for the baby and for our family if it comes to that. I am hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst, and maybe someone is going through this right now, will come by my blog and see they are not alone in the decisions they may have to make.

From my research, I have come up with three possible scenarios as to what we could do. The first is to terminate the pregnancy through a D&E, which stands for dilation and evacuation. This removes the contents of the uterus. We would probably be too far along to do a D&C, which stands for dilation and curettage. This is basically what an abortion entails, although that word hurts my heart, for abortion, to me, signifies an unwanted child, and this child was wanted before s/he was ever even conceived. With this option, we would not be able to see the baby.

Another option is to end the pregnancy through an induction. From what I've read, this involves inserting medicine into the cervix to cause it to dilate, just as they would for any induction. The baby is delivered, but most of the time, has passed away before being delivered. We would get to spend some time with our baby and say goodbye. Our families would also be able to visit to see the baby. However, if we wished, we could also choose not to see the baby. I don't know if I would want to see the baby or not. Out of everything I've read, not one regretted seeing their baby, but plenty have regretted not seeing him/her.

The last option is to carry to term. The baby might not make it that far, meaning it could die before 38 weeks. Some Trisomy 18 babies don't survive labor and delivery, and some parents opt for a C-section to ease some of the trauma on the baby. From what I've read, people who carry to term sometimes get to spend a few hours or less with their baby before s/he passes away. Some even get days or weeks. Very few get months or years. With this option, if the baby does survive for a little while, they are able to make memories as families.

All of these options have downsides. I don't like any of them. Hopefully, the amnio will relieve our fears, and we won't have to even give this anymore thought.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Cystic Hygromas

Most of this information came from the Emory University's School of Medicine Department of Human Genetics.

A cystic hygroma is a fluid-filled sac that results from a blockage in the lymphatic system. The lymphatic system is a network of vessels that maintains fluids in the blood, as well as transports fats and immune system cells. Cystic hygromas are single or multiple cysts found mostly in the neck region. Some cystic hygromas are present at birth and called congenital cystic hygromas. Others can develop over the course of a person's life. Some cases of congenital cystic hygromas resolve leading to webbed neck, edema (swelling) and a lymphangioma (a benign yellowish-tan tumor on the skin composed of swollen lymph vessels). In other instances, the hygroma can progress in size to become larger than the fetus.

Cystic hygromas occur in approximately one percent of fetuses during the ninth through the 16th week of pregnancy.

A cystic hygroma can occur on its own or with chromosomal abnormalities such as Turner Syndrome, Trisomy 18 and 13 and Down's Syndrome. It is more common with Turner's Syndrome, though.

Some cystic hygromas will resolve on their own, but not always. A cystic hygroma can be present in a healthy baby. If no chromosome abnormality is found and the problem has resolved itself by 18 to 20 weeks, the outcome is good in 54 to 80 percent. The percentage drops if it hasn't resolved. Hydrops, which is life-threatening swelling of a fetus, occurs in 22 to 76 percent of the time with a cystic hygroma and is almost always associated with miscarriage or fetal death.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Ultrasound results

I thought we were going to be late for the appointment today because we got stuck in town by a funeral. However, we made it just in time. We had to fill out paperwork, and then the ultrasound lady took us right back.



She was very sweet. At first, the baby was moving around a lot so she was having a lot of trouble getting a shot. I mentioned I had thought about having some orange juice or a caffeinated drink before I came, and she said she was glad I didn't.

She wouldn't tell me anything though, except for what we were looking at. I asked her if the baby was growing on target. She said the doctor would have to tell me that. I asked about a couple of other things, too, and she said that she wouldn't be able to tell me anything but I could pick Dr. Speers, the maternal fetal medicine specialist, brain.

The last 20 minutes or so, the baby curled up in a little ball and wouldn't move much at all. She had me drink a glass of water, move onto my sides, nothing. Even though the baby moved a lot at the beginning, this worries me. A couple of people I know who have had Trisomy 18 babies said their babies didn't move much on ultrasound at all.

So, she tried for a while and decided to quit. She forgot to take pictures, so she started trying again to get a profile shot. The baby started moving around so much that she was only able to get one shot of its profile.

We then had to go to the waiting room to wait on the doctor. It felt like forever. He finally called us back. He asked us a ton of questions and then moved on to what the ultrasound said. The baby is measuring right on target, but because of its gestational age, it is still very small. That, along with the fact that the baby moved too much at the beginning and then curled into a ball at the end, meant they weren't able to get many good shots.

The doctor did find some things concerning. In some shots, it looked like the baby had a cystic hygroma. In others, it didn't. A cystic hygroma involves the lymphatic system and can be very bad. We don't know if the baby has it or not. I don't see anything in the picture that she got for us, but I'm not used to looking at them.

Also, in some shots, it looked as though the baby's feet turned in. In others, they didn't. I'm not too worried about this. My feet turn in. In fact, I was almost born club-footed. I have terrible problems with my feet.

So, we decided to do the amnio. I'm going on Friday for that. I'm sort of needle-phobic, but I know I have to do it. I have to know if this baby is going to be ok or not.

Prayers, positive thoughts, whatever needed

I'm going in three hours for the level 2 ultrasound and then will be meeting with perinatologist later. Right now, I have so many thoughts running through my head.

I'm trying to decide whether to have the amnio even if the ultrasound doesn't show any markers. Even if the baby doesn't have any of the signs, it is still possible for it to have Trisomy 18. Not having any signs brings the chances down to 1 out of 200, but the chance is still there. The ultrasound is not conclusive.

The amnio carries some risk, but I've read the risks are lower than they originally thought. It can cause miscarriage or infection. I'm also scared of the pain. I'm a big chicken. But, the thing is, I need to know so I can prepare "T." She is so over the moon about this baby that I have to tell her it won't make it.

Then, there are so many options available if the baby does have it. Should I try to carry to term only to allow it to die? Should I end the pregnancy? Can I even do that? I'd have to have the amnio to be totally sure before I could.

If the baby does have it, how do I prepare "T." She knows about death because of Granny dying back in December. But, I don't think she realizes babies can die, too. I know this will hurt her so much because she wants a baby brother or sister so much. She talks to my belly and tells it she loves it every day. It brings tears to my eyes when she does it, and even more so now.

Then, I'm also trying to think positive. The baby might not have it. Everything could be just fine, and I might be able to find out the sex today. At least, I'll get to see the baby in detail for a long time.

I don't know how I'm going to get through the next few hours. I sort of wish I had gone into work even for just an hour or so. Of course, I wouldn't have been able to concentrate. "B" is home now and cooking breakfast for us. I think he is using that to take his mind off of it.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Scared to death

I got the call today that no one wants to get. My Quad Screening (or AFP test) came back positive for a chromosomal abnormality called Trisomy 18. It is similar to Down's Syndrome, but much less common and much more serious. In Down's, a child has three sets of the number 21 chromosome. In Trisomy 18, the child has three sets of the number 18 chromosome.

Trisomy 18 is not compatible with life, meaning most babies die in utero or before they are one month old. Most of those who do survive the first month don't make it to their first birthday. There have been some cases of children with Trisomy 18 who have made to their teenage years, but this is very, very rare.

A positive screening test does not mean the baby has Trisomy 18. Instead, it gives the risks for it. My baby has a one in 10 chance of having it. Dr. McGowen said that there are many false positives with this test, and I knew that going in. But, I still had to have it done. I wanted to be prepared.

One Web site I visited said only five percent of those with a positive will have a baby with Trisomy 18. Another said 11 percent, so I'm thinking it's somewhere between five and 11 percent of all positives are truly positive.

Dr. McGowen's office has gotten me an appointment with a perinatologist for a level 2 ultrasound. This ultrasound looks for soft markers, like clenched hands, rocker feet, certain types of cysts, heart and kidney abnormalities and excess amniotic fluid. If the baby has any of these markers, I will need to have an amniocentisis, which involves removing amniotic fluid from around the baby to test. The amnio is the only way to know for sure if the baby has a chromosomal defect.

I've heard the needle is very large, and the test is painful. However, I am debating about having the test done, even if their are no markers, just so I will know for sure.

My appointment is tomorrow at 12:15. It's a work-in. "B" is going to have to take off work to go, but I'm going to need him there.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Scared of labor

My labor with Tessa was horrible. I went into the hospital with contractions so bad I couldn't speak through them. When they checked me, I was only one centimeter dilated. The nurse hooked me up to the machine, which wasn't registering any pain. She told me that I wasn't hurting, and they would be sending me home. I finally convinced her to move the monitor down to where the pain was, and the contractions were off the chart.

She asked me if I wanted something for pain, and thinking it going to be the epidural, I said yes. I was wrong. I was given the drug from hell -- Stadol. I will never take it again. My family said I was like the girl from the Exorcist. One minute, I was fine, the next, I acted as though I was possessed. I cursed at them, yelled at them and cried. It just wasn't like me. Besides that, it took away most of my memories of the night.

Then, my blood pressure shot up, and they told my DH and my family that I was at stroke level. They started the magnesium drip, which of course, just added to my woozy feeling and my failing memory. The first bag failed to bring down my blood pressure and it stayed up until 12 hours after "T" was born. I had to stay in the delivery room for 12 hours because of it.

After they broke my water, they discovered meconium, or the fact that "T" had her first bowel movement while in the womb. Her heart rate was also dropping, but when the doctor would tickle her head, it shot back up. She decided I didn't need a C-section. Later, I found out from my regular doctor, who was not on call that night, that I should have had one anyway, due to my blood pressure. I wish she had been on call.

When it came time to deliver "T," I was in so much pain despite the epidural. The nurse said she was laying on a nerve, and the only way to get rid of the pain was to deliver the baby. So, I pushed as hard as I could, and her head was delivered. The only problem was that the doctor was out in the hallway, having a cup of coffee, and I tore both up and down. My doctor later told me that it was worse than a second degree tear but not as bad as a third degree.

Because of the doctor not being there, "T" aspirated on the meconium and had to spend four hours in the NICU. That's not a long time but for a new momma who had tried for three years, it was a lifetime.

That night traumatized most of my family. My momma passed out in the hallway after I got my epidural. "B" sat in the corner with his head in his hands, rocking back and forth, he was so scared. Momma was actually mad when I told her I was pregnant because she is so scared something will happen to me. Part of the reason we waited so long before having another baby was my fear of labor.

I can't go through this again. Every time I think about having this baby, I can feel a panic attack coming on. I know one part of it will be avoided because I will not be taking Stadol this time. But, I can't do anything to prevent pre-eclampsia. It either happens, or it doesn't.

I know it sounds silly, but I think being induced, and knowing for sure that I will be, will help cut down on my anxiety. I felt like I had no control last time. The pain overtook me, along with the meds, and I was just out of it. I feel like if I go in and get pitocin, I can get the epidural as soon as I want it. I'm thinking if we do get induced, I won't start out with the off the charts contractions. I could be wrong, but it will make me feel better.

In the end, all that matters is that I have a healthy baby. "T" was healthy, even though she could have gotten very sick from aspirating the meconium. It was worth it, but I just don't want to have to do it again, not like that, anyway.

Changing my due date

My doctor told me today that she wanted to change my due date because at my ultrasound at 10 weeks, I was measuring a week behind. I really have an issue with changing the date because I know exactly when I ovulated.

I was taking my temps and using a fertility monitor, so there are no surprises there. I did tell her that, but she still wanted to change it. When I told her that the due date predictor online (using my date of ovulation, not the date of my last period) said I was due on Christmas Day because of it not using the date of my last period, she caved a little. We are now saying I'm due on Dec. 27, which is a compromise.

I really think I'm due on Christmas Eve, to tell the truth. "T" always measured behind and was small at birth. I think this baby is probably going to follow suit. I told her that I didn't want to go overdue because I had heard horror stories about that. She said in their practice, they will no longer allow anyone to go past 41 weeks due to those kind of stories. She said it used to be 42 weeks. She said some doctors are still allowing women to go 10 days past their due date, but they don't want to take the chance.

She also said that I probably won't go to my due date anyway. At my last appointment, she said they would probably induce me a week early due to my history of pre-eclampsia. I hope she still plans to do that.

Only two pounds and countdown to Aug. 4

I was weighed at today's appointment, and I've only gained two pounds. They said that's fine, and I know it is. But, deep down, I feel like I should have gained more.

I also asked about the red mask around my mouth. She said it was exema and to use hydrocortisone cream. I'm hoping it will work. I'm tired of my face looking like this.

I am going back on my anti-depressants. I'm hoping it will help the irritibility I've been experiencing.

They took blood to do the fetal screening for Down's Syndrome and other chromosomal problems. And, I'm doing my glucose test next week. She said we would probably have to do again at 26 weeks, but that's ok.

And, the best part of all: We scheduled our big ultrasound. It's Aug. 4. We are going to bring "T" with us, and I know she's going to love it. I can't wait.

Doctor's appointment today

I'm almost 16 weeks, and this is only my second "real" appointment. I feel like I'm not going as much as I did with Tessa, but when I look back at my records, I know I am.

I'll probably be weighed today, and I don't really care how much I've gained. I'm trying not to stress about it. I had lost 25 pounds before I got pregnant, and I'm eating a lot healthier now than I was before. I'm not dieting but just lots of fruits, vegetables, and whole wheats. I hadn't even gained a pound at my last appointment. I've heard women with PCOS tend to lose weight when their pregnant. If I do that, I might be down even farther than I was before I got pregnant, so then I'll be closer to my goal of losing over 100 pounds after the baby gets here.

I'm also going to ask about my glucose test at this appointment. I know they don't usually do them until you are farther along, but I just found out that women with PCOS and insulin resistance are at a higher risk of gestational diabetes. I just really hope I don't have it. Even though I am eating healthier, I do love a glass of sweet tea every once in a while, and I also love my bread. I hate the taste of artificial sweeteners, too. They make me gag, literally. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to deal with it when it comes.

We'll also get to hear the heartbeat again, and we'll make an appointment for our big ultrasound. I can't wait for that.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

So bummed

Twice a year a huge consignment sale is held by two local women. People from all over the area bring their gently used baby items to sell, and the prices are never that bad.

I'm all about buying things used. The only two things I don't want to buy used are a car seat and a baby bed, but the rest of the equipment and definitely clothes I love to get at a bargain.

With Tessa, I was able to stock up on all kinds of cute baby clothes at the sale in February, which is for spring and summer clothes. The one in July is for fall and winter clothes. I also bought our pack and play at it. I knew I was having a girl so it was easy.

We haven't even made the appointment yet to do our big ultrasound, but I won't be 20 weeks until the first part of August. So, I won't know what this baby is when the big consignment sale is held. I know it sounds silly but I'm very disappointed.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Just a reminder

When you come to my blog and read, please click on the Google ad at the top. Each time you do, I make a small percentage. It all adds up, though.

I really do appreciate everyone who comes and reads it. I would love to hear from you when you do, so please leave comments.

Sciatic Nerve Pain

When I was pregnant with "T," I often had sciatic nerve pain. It started in my back, shot down my hip and the back of my leg. I often felt as though I was crippled. It started out pretty early on, too.

I thought maybe I was going to escape it this time, but I was wrong. I woke up this morning, stood up and the pain shot down.

I walked around hunched over for most of the morning. Last time, my doctor recommended some stretches to help, so I guess I'll ask again this time and go from there.

It's really lovely the things we go through to bring a baby into this world.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Baby items

When Tessa was born, they had so many cool items for babies that I didn't think it could get any better. I was wrong. Now, there are loads of neat things that I want for this baby, and I don't know how I'm going to afford all of them. I guess I'm just going to have to pick one or two of my favorites and go from there.

The first item I want is the Fisher Price Soothing Motions Glider. It is the coolest thing ever. It serves as a bassinet, along with a bouncer and a swing. If this baby is colicy like "T" was, I'm going to need it. Here's a pic.

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The next item I definitely will not be getting. I can't afford it, not when it's about $300 or more and when the baby will only be using it for a month or two. However, if I were to win the lottery between now and December, this is an item I would be purchasing.

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We are definitely getting this as our travel system. It's the Graco Winnie the Pooh Spree one. I love Winnie the Pooh and should have done it for "T" but decided not to. Anyway, this isn't priced too bad, and I know we will get a lot of use out of it.

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I don't know if I could "B" to agree to this, but I love this Amby Baby Motion Bed. It's like a hammock for the baby. I just think it's cool.

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I'm even more amazed at the selection of exersaucers and play stations now. I thought they were cool when Tessa was a baby, but these are really neat. It's hard to pick a favorite, but I really like the Baby Einstein Discover and Play Activity Center. I may change my mind between now and December.

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I may do this again as I discover more products that I love.