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Monday, July 14, 2008

Hoping for the best

Although we are preparing for the worst, we are also hoping for the best. We have not told "T" about any of the problems. I don't want to tell her anything and put her through any pain when we don't know for sure.

We are still discussing names. We watched the movie Game Plan the other night, and "T" now likes Payton for a girl. "B" isn't too crazy about it, but I kind of like it, which is odd because I've been very into traditional names this pregnancy.

We are also going in the next few days to get "T" a new bed. The baby will use her bed, which is a convertible. "T" is going to get all new bedding, and we are going to take down her Dora wall hangings and probably do something with fairies or unicorns, even though she wants puppy bedding. But, she told me, "I don't care if the covers on the bed matches the stuff on the wall," so I will go with what she wants.

For the past two days, I've really been feeling the baby move a lot. Every time s/he does, I smile. To me, this is a good sign. I've read stories about Trisomy 18 pregnancies, and most of the women didn't feel the baby move until much, much later due to the small size. Many have also said their baby wasn't all that active, and this baby has been. I know nothing is 100 percent, and I probably shouldn't take it as a good sign, but I do. I guess I need all the positives I can right now.

But, in some ways, I feel stuck. I'm afraid to think ahead because I don't know what will happen with this pregnancy. I don't want to get my hopes up and feel so positive about it all, when it could all turn out to be very negative. If I was to think completely positive about all of this and the worst possible news came back, I think I would fall apart. So, even though I'm hoping for the best, I still know the worst could come.

1 comment:

BDeLone said...

I'm sorry to hear you are going through a difficult and stressful time in your pregnancy. Waiting for test results is nerve racking. If you haven't already found us, here is the website for the Trisomy 18 Foundation, www.trisomy18.org . You will find a wealth of information on Trisomy 18, along with many loving and caring families that have walked this journey. As we know, each child with Trisomy 18 is unique. While the list of known defects is the same, some children are more affected than others. It really is unfair for doctors to lump them all into one category. I encourage you to register and join our support boards, you'll be able to communicate with other families affected by Trisomy 18. Right now the best thing to do, is gather up as much information as possible. Please know our hearts are with you, and we're here to support you.

Warmly,

Bianca DeLone
Staff at Trisomy 18 Foundation,Inc.
BDeLone@trisomy18.org
www.trisomy18.org
www.trisomy18support.org