Preparing for the worst

Although B and I have talked about what we will do if the baby does have Trisomy 18, we have not made any decisions. We are discussing it and want to make the best possible decision for the baby and for our family if it comes to that. I am hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst, and maybe someone is going through this right now, will come by my blog and see they are not alone in the decisions they may have to make.

From my research, I have come up with three possible scenarios as to what we could do. The first is to terminate the pregnancy through a D&E, which stands for dilation and evacuation. This removes the contents of the uterus. We would probably be too far along to do a D&C, which stands for dilation and curettage. This is basically what an abortion entails, although that word hurts my heart, for abortion, to me, signifies an unwanted child, and this child was wanted before s/he was ever even conceived. With this option, we would not be able to see the baby.

Another option is to end the pregnancy through an induction. From what I've read, this involves inserting medicine into the cervix to cause it to dilate, just as they would for any induction. The baby is delivered, but most of the time, has passed away before being delivered. We would get to spend some time with our baby and say goodbye. Our families would also be able to visit to see the baby. However, if we wished, we could also choose not to see the baby. I don't know if I would want to see the baby or not. Out of everything I've read, not one regretted seeing their baby, but plenty have regretted not seeing him/her.

The last option is to carry to term. The baby might not make it that far, meaning it could die before 38 weeks. Some Trisomy 18 babies don't survive labor and delivery, and some parents opt for a C-section to ease some of the trauma on the baby. From what I've read, people who carry to term sometimes get to spend a few hours or less with their baby before s/he passes away. Some even get days or weeks. Very few get months or years. With this option, if the baby does survive for a little while, they are able to make memories as families.

All of these options have downsides. I don't like any of them. Hopefully, the amnio will relieve our fears, and we won't have to even give this anymore thought.