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Friday, December 4, 2009


A few weeks ago, a high school friend of mine posted pictures of her sister's wedding on Facebook. In fact, it was her twin that had gotten married, and I had known both girls since kindergarten. They also had an older sister. One of the pictures was of the three women together, and it caused my heart to skip a minute.

I have three girls, not just two. I wish all three of them were here to grow up together. I wish people could say things about the three Belinc girls, not just the two of them.

Another thing that brings this vividly to mind is the show "Full House." If anyone remembers it, it was about a widower, his brother-in-law, and friend raising three girls. Tessa and I watch it every day. There is a scene in the intro of the oldest brushing the middle one's hair, the middle one brushing the youngest's hair and the youngest brushing a doll's hair. Every time I see that, I think that should be my three girls.

I know I should be thankful Ella is here, happy and healthy, and I am. I am so grateful for her, but I can't help but wish I had my second daughter here with us and that she was healthy and happy, too.

Even though my family is now complete, there will always be a piece missing, and I know that on all the major events, when Tessa and Ella graduate, their weddings, the births of their children, I will look at the pictures of those days and wish another girl was there with us -- our Jenna.


JenJen said...

I've had the same emotions, too. It's hard but I'm hoping with time that I grow acceptance and peace that Lily isn't here to participate in our family life...

Hollie said...

I think we're all going through the same exact feelings! I go through and read the pages of those who have their rainbow babies now, and we all write the same.

It's a confusing time - to be so happy and in love with our new additions, but to be mourning our little angles at the same time.

I don't know if it will ever change. I think we're always going to look at our children here on Earth, and then think of our little ones in Heaven with a heavy heart.

I've accepted that Cameron is gone, but it doesn't make it easier. It doesn't mean I don't think about him every single day or that I won't continue to think about him everyday, for the rest of my life.

Mirna said...

One will always miss them and times hardest are those empty places at the table during Christmas and of course, on their birthdays. Hugs to you xx