Nobody but me

Yesterday was one month since Jenna was born, and nobody remembered-- nobody but me. I don't blame Brian so much as he has been working so much lately that he wasn't even sure of the date.

I thought my mom would remember or my sister, my aunts, my friends, someone besides me. I wanted someone to say, "I remember and I'm sorry." No one did, and I didn't feel like telling anyone. I wanted them to remember her on their own. I bought two balloons, a pink one and a white one, yesterday and released them on my lunch hour. I didn't put a note with them. Maybe next time I will.

I just wanted someone to remember. Is she going to be forgotten forever? Is my mom always going to leave her out when she says how many grandchildren she has? People don't ask how many grandchildren you have that is living; they ask how many you have. She has five altogether. She shouldn't forget about my Jenna.

Am I doomed to be the only one who remembers her? I just want her life to have mattered. I told my counselor that, and she said, "She did matter. She mattered to you," and yes, that may be true, but if she had lived and been healthy, she would have touched countless lives. I still want that for her. It just seems like nobody remembers her, nobody but me anyway.