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Sunday, August 17, 2008

So mad right now

Brian talked to his parents today, and they aren't coming down for the memorial service. He said his dad just doesn't do funerals, and his mom won't travel without his dad. Plus, Brian's cousin, which is his mom's nephew, is dying from cancer and probably will not live through the week, which means the funeral would be this weekend and she can't miss it.

Yet, she can miss the memorial service for her granddaughter? I don't get it. She should be here for it, even if my father-in-law doesn't want to come. She did say that Brian needed to take some extra time off from work so I can relax and get better, which I appreciate, but I just feel like they don't even care that their granddaughter is dead.

I guess I should expect it. They've always treated Brian different from their oldest son. Their favoritism is so obvious. I know if this had been his brother's child, they would be there no matter what.

I'm hurt for myself and Tessa and Jenna's memory, but my heart is breaking for Brian. These are his parents, and they don't even want to be here for him for what will be one of the hardest events of his life. It's like they don't even care what he's going through. He's hurting, too. I don't think I've ever seen him cry as much as he has the past few weeks.

I don't know how I'm going to get through this anger. Brian is acting like its no big to him, but I know it is. I just wish his parents could be as supportive as mine.


melinda said...

Oh T! I am so sorry that on top of everything you are having to deal with the in-laws. I am sure Brian is crushed but right now I think having each other is the best thing. During times of grief and hardship you often find peoples true colors and intentions. I'll be thinking of you all on Wednesday. And Jenna's obit was beautifully written.

Grace said...

Your in-laws are so inconsiderate! How can they not be there for you two? And what a lame excuse!

Kim said...

I'm sorry but "I don't do funerals" is a cop-out. No one does funerals because they want to. And no one wants to do them. I'm sorry, but someone needs to tell them that this is not about them. Not one little bit.

Don't worry about being angry. Be angry for as long as you need. When you no longer need it, it will subside...

Hugs to you - I'm pretty angry on your behalf.

More hugs - just store them away for when you need them.