The funeral home called

We went tonight to the open house at Tessa's school for all kindergarten parents. After that, we went to eat because neither of us felt like cooking. I probably overdid it a little because I'm extremely crampy and tired tonight.

When we got home tonight, there was a message on the machine from the funeral home that is handling Jenna's cremation. They are actually doing it for free, which I think is wonderful. When my aunt called them to check with them about it, they said the family is going through enough without having to worry about paying for that. We are going to buy the urn from them.

The terrible thing is we might not be able to get any cremains back. When an adult is cremated, it is the long bones in the leg which create the ashes. Jenna's bones hadn't hardened yet because that doesn't happen until a child is much older. I just hope we are able to get something.

We haven't completely decided what we want to do with the cremains yet. My two choices right now are to spread her ashes over my granny's grave or to bury the container they come in at the foot of her grave. We are going to get a stone with her name and angel date on it to put at the foot of Granny's grave.

Tonight, Tessa and I were talking about Jenna. I let her see the pictures, and she wanted to know why Jenna was so red. I explained that it was because she was not really ready to be born, and babies are red like that until it is time for them to come. She said she wished Jenna hadn't died. She asked if she could get a small teddy bear for her. I tried to explain that we couldn't really get her anything now, and she asked if we could put it on her grave. I told her I thought that would be a good idea. I might even have a teddy bear engraved on her stone.

I'm trying to decide what to do for her memorial. I don't want anything over the top, but I do want to remember her.