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Friday, August 22, 2008

Jenna's memorial service

We are having Jenna's memorial service on Sunday. (I originally said Monday and realize I made a mistake. Sorry about that.) The pastor (Chris) of the church that I grew up in is going to sing a song along with his wife and also recite a poem I found on the Internet. The pastor (Jack) who married Brian and I is going to conduct the service.

I think a lot of him because even though he was no longer the pastor at the church where I grew up, he continued to visit my granny after she became ill. The pastor who was at the church during the time of her illness came to visit her one time during her long illness. After Chris became pastor, he visited Granny several times, but even then, Jack continued to visit and officiated at her funeral. He is just a nice man, so I'm glad he's able to do it, even if I'm not the most religious person around.

The son and daughter-in-law of Brian's parents best friends own a flower shop nearby. Brian went on Monday and put in an order for a huge table arrangement. It cost a lot of money, but we both said we won't be able to do much for her, so we want to be able to do this. We are also getting 10 pink and white balloons from her. That is enough for my parents, my siblings, their children, and Brian, Tessa and I. We are going to release them outside after the service is over so they can float up to Jenna.

I ordered cards from Office Max that have her name and birthday on it, along with her obituary and a quote that says "Imagine a love so strong that saying hello and goodbye in the same day is worth all the pain." On the back of the card will be a poem about angels who stay for a short time.

We have an altar table at the front of the church. We are going to put the flower arrangement, Jenna's urn and two angel figurines on it. The first angel figurine came from the hospital, and the second came from Brian's parents friends. I love those two. They are so sweet, much nicer than Brian's parents, who I'm having a lot of trouble forgiving for not coming to the memorial service. I realize they have to travel to get it here, but it's only a four hour trip. They're retired and take longer trips to go and see Brian's dad's family once a year in Michigan.

I'm also thinking of downloading a couple of songs from ITunes to play while everyone is coming in. I love "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton and Kenny Chesney's "Who You'd Be Today." I also thought about Garth Brooks' "The Dance." I love that song anyway, always have. The line, "I could have missed the pain, but I'd've had to miss -- the dance," always gets to me. The pain of losing Jenna is bad, but I loved her. I don't think I would want to miss that at all.

3 comments:

Mom to 2 boys +? said...

The service sounds like it's going to be beautiful. I'm sorry that Brian's parents aren't coming, that's pretty crappy, but some people just don't get how devastating and heart breaking these losses are. You will all be in my thoughts Monday.
Kara

Beth said...

Your service sounds beautiful. We just had a very small informal one in our home. I really like the quote you're putting on the programs - I may steal it and put it on my blog for Ada. I hope all goes well on Monday.

Allison (Dashiell's Mom) said...

Tamara,

Thinking of you today and wishing the service is as beautiful as possible. I also hope that today is gentle on you and that you can find some peace. The quote you're putting on the programs sums up the stillbirth of a child prefectly.