I can't tell you how many times I've had someone ask me "Are you going to try again for a boy?" since Ella was born in November, making me feel as though people value boy babies more than girls.
My answer is always no. For one thing, my doctor has said I don't need to do another pregnancy. I've had one baby who developed IUGR, lost a one to Trisomy 18 and then had my placenta break down early and blood pressure skyrocket enough for me to have to go on bedrest with the last baby. My body is just not cut out to have babies, and the people who ask me this are often ones who know my history.
I have so many other reasons for not having another baby, money, room, time...I could go on and on. But, if I wanted to have another, it would not be to have a boy. My family is complete; I don't need a male child to have it be so.
I've also heard that the perfect family is a boy and a girl. Why is this so? I thought a perfect family was one that loved each other, no matter what the dynamics were. I think we are perfect just the way we are.
One person even went so far as to tell me Brian deserved a son. Does a man have to have a son to feel complete? I don't buy this. Brian has told me more than once he is happy with his girls. He doesn't want a son because of how bad his own relationship is with his dad. Besides, men are ultimately the ones who are responsible for whether or not their children are male and female, even if it is unintentional.
All of this makes me feel women and girls are highly undervalued in our society. I don't feel like I've failed as a women and a wife because we've had all girls. I don't think we are any less of a family because females outnumber males in this household. We make up a perfect family because we love each other; we don't need a male baby for that to happen.
Besides, with our track record, three pregnancies -- three girls, we probably would never have a boy anyway.
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