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Sunday, June 20, 2010

No tact

I really need someone to hold my fingers away from the telephone right now, because I am about to open up a can of whoop-butt on someone. That someone is my father-in-law to be exact.

I have written about my hatred for him before, and yes, I do hate him. I merely disliked him until Christmas of 2008 when he had the audacity to ask Brian, "What the hell's a Jenna," considering our dead daughter, but now, I don't care if the karma comes back to bite me in the butt. I hate him, and I will never forgive him for that comment.

Today, Brian called him to wish him a Happy Father's Day. While he was talking to his dad today, his father said, "Would you please have Tessa lay off the sweets and the cokes? She's getting fat."

Ok, first of all, she doesn't really drink that many cokes. I keep water, juice and yes, some coke, in the house. I also let her drink chocolate milk, because it's the only way she will drink any milk at all. At home, she would rather have chocolate milk or juice, but she will drink about a coke a day. Not a big deal in my opinion. She also has a sweet tooth, and I let her have one sugary snack a night. I'm a firm believer in everything in moderation, and I also believe if you withhold sugary items from your kids, they are going to sneak around and eat them.

The weekend we were in Mississippi, it was like 100 degrees. We went fishing on their pontoon boat. When I helped Brian pack the cooler, I noticed they only had two bottles of water, everything else was coke or beer. One of those bottles of water was for Joann, and I needed the other for Ella to fix her bottles. While we were out there, Tessa drank a lot of coke. I didn't want her to dehydrate, so she had to have something to drink. Maybe next time I should just let her have a beer? I'm kidding, but he would probably prefer that.

Second of all, Tessa has always been small. She only weighed five pounds, seven ounces and was 17 inches long at birth, really tiny. It took her forever to even get on the growth charts, and until she was six year old, she was always under the 25th percentile for weight. Her doctor told me to allow fats and sugars in moderation because she needed them to help her grow. She was the smallest and shortest kid in her kindergarten class. Last summer (the last time they really saw her), she hit a growth spurt and has gained about 15-20 pounds and three to four inches. She is now about average for her age. In fact, her doctor was proud of her growth.

And, now, he comes and makes this comment about Tessa being fat. She isn't fat, and I just know one day, he will say it to her face. I don't believe in calling kids fat, even if they are. I know people who don't believe in political correctness will hate me for it, but I think it hurts their self-esteem, which in turn could make them gain more weight.

I so want to just cut him out of our lives. My mother-in-law isn't one of my favorite people either, but when she is away from my father-in-law, she isn't so bad. I might even be able to like her, as long as she stays away from politics and doesn't recite her uber-conservative rhetoric to me. I also like my brother-in-law and my nephew. If I want to see them and not keep Brian from his family, I have to see my father-in-law. I just don't know how to deal with him anymore.

I am also including a pic of Tessa from the trip two weeks ago. I don't think she is in any way, shape or form, fat.


Veronica Lee said...

Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Love your blog.
Have a nice day!!

Sabine Schoepke said...

Hi there! Thanks for following me at 'Lots of Little Blessings' and thanks for introducing me to your blog. Re. your hatred for your father-in-law: I feel for you!But try to do the following: acknowledge your anger and your feelings for him, think about the options you have (i.e. to cut him off from your lives, because you really don't need this), and then commit to this decision. After that, take a few deep breaths and let it go!! Be happy and focus on your blessings and all the wonderful people in your life!!
xoxoxo Sabine

Pam the Realtor said...

What does your husband say about his father's comments? If he isn't going to back you up, it's a lost cause. It really needs to be your husband that confronts his father and tells him exactly why he is being cut off. Make a list if you have to with examples. We tried so many times to cut my father in law out of our life but my husband just could never take that final step to do it. Now my daughter won't have anything to do with my mother in law as she blames her for letting the verbal abuse happen too. It's a mess, so I wish you luck but totally understand the situation.

B's Mom said...

That would make me go crazy. I can't believe he would say that. (I don't think she looks heavy at all.)

Ami said...

You know the difference between inlaws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

So sorry... your inlaws sound toxic. I don't know you well enough to swear on your blog, so I will say you should tell them to smooch your donkey.