Dragonflies and remembering Jenna

On Friday, I had to go to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things, and they had a display of pins to be given as Christmas gifts. I decided to take a look to see what options they had.

Would you believe they had at least 10 different dragonfly pins? I thought that was Jenna's way of telling me I needed to signify her presence with a pin. I bought one for me, Brian, and Tessa. We will wear them in our pictures we are having made, plus Tessa will wear hers in the grandchildren picture. I put mine on my purse and will take it off when we do the pictures. Then, I'll put it back there.

I also ordered two angel pins from Avon. They have birthstones inset in them, so I got one for Tessa and one for Jenna. I'm going to put them on my purse, too. It's going to soon be full of pins.

We went to the mall last night, and a glass shop had opened inside. Tessa saw an angel and said she wanted to get one for Jenna. So, we looked around and found a little one. The shop also had little mirrors to sit them on. The mirrors were etched with sayings, like "We love you," "Best Friends" or "Best Teachers." I asked the lady if we could get it custom embossed, and she said no. We kept looking at the ones she had out, and she said, "Who is it for? A teacher, grandmother?"

Brian and I looked at each other and at her and back at each other. We truly did not know what to say. I finally just squeaked out, "Our baby was stillborn this summer, and it's for her."

Tessa piped up and said, "Yes, our baby died. Her name was Jenna."

The lady didn't know what to say. She stammered out that she was sorry and came back with one that said, "We love you always." We decided to get it. I just hate having to say that to people.

I wanted a Christmas ornament for Jenna, but I didn't think a Baby's First Christmas ornament would be appropriate. One of the ladies on my board makes ornaments out of lightbulbs, and she's going to make me an angel one. I might get her to make two, so we can have one for Momma's tree, too.

Maybe I'm going too far in doing things to remember her, but she was supposed to be here at Christmas this year. She was going to be my little Christmas present, just as Tessa was my little Mother's Day present. I just don't want anyone to forget her.