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Friday, December 5, 2008

One year ago today

One year ago today I received a call that it was almost over with my granny. She had been in the hospital, and we had brought her home on hospice so she could have her wish and die at home. I lost my hero that day, the woman who helped shape me into who I am today.

My granny wasn't perfect. She had a temper like you wouldn't believe. It took a lot to get her mad, but when you did, you had better watch out. I remember once she had her central heat and air system replaced, and the men wore deep tracks in the yard with their trucks. She took pride in her yard, and she was so angry they had messed it up. She came out on the porch to talk to them. Without raising her voice, she let them know exactly what she thought.

Beyond the temper, Granny was very nearly perfect. She taught me their is no difference in people due to their skin color. She often said that we weren't any better than anyone else, but we weren't any worse either. She was a Christian, but she truly believed in "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" and "Judge not for ye shall be judged."

Granny had a hard life. Her father died when she was 13. Her mother lost the farm, and she had to go to work, sewing baby outfits and softballs for the Wilson Ball Factory at home. After she married, she lost two children, one at three months due to a heart defect and one before she was even born at five months gestation. I really missed her when we were going through the pain of losing Jenna, because I knew she knew what that felt like and no one else in the family did either.

My Papa died young, so they didn't get to spend their golden years together. There is a song called "Rocking Years" by Dolly Parton and Ricky Van Shelton that she loved. It talks about rocking chairs and rocking babies and sitting and rocking on porch swings when you are older. She said she and Papa never got to do that.

Granny was stubborn. That's really an understatement. If she hadn't been as stubborn as she was, she would never have made it through all the health problems she had over the years. Most of the time, she came back stronger, except for the last few years. She taught me that if you want something, you have to work hard at it, and even if you fail, at least, you know you tried and stuck it out. She never gave up, even at the end. She waited around until she knew we would be Ok.

I loved this story about my granny. She wanted to learn how to drive, but my Papa didn't want to teach her. One day, when they went to the store, she asked him to let her drive home. He said no. So, she went outside, jumped in the car and drove it home. She nearly tore the transmission out of it, but she showed Papa she meant business. He taught her to drive after that.

Granny was my hero. I didn't think I would be able to live without her, but I have. I have lived my life for the past year without her here. I know I can go on, and I know it's because of the love and strength she showed me.


Andi said...

I've been following your story from the very beginning, but this is my first comment. What a beautiful tribute to your granny. I just lost my grandma in September and I was very close to her. The lessons we learn from these special women in our lives will be with us forever. Your granny knew the pain that you are now feeling with the loss of beautiful Jenna. I am sorry she is not here to talk over it with you, but in spirit she is holding your hand through it all.

You are a such a gifted writer and beautiful person. I hope you know how much your words touch other people. I hope you find some peace today.

KaraY said...

I can hear the love and respect for her through your words. I can tell how strong and loving she was.
What a wonderful, hard life she lived. With so many people who loved her, and were touched by her, her memory will live on.

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I'm glad you are reminiscing all your fond memories of your granny on this one year anniversary. She sounds like someone incredibly special and you sound so respectful and appreciative. My thoughts are with you as you continue to live without her. Hugs.

Hollie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hollie said...

Your granny sounds like an absolutely beautiful person! I'm so sorry she was taken from you, but I'm glad you were able to have someone like that in your life - even if it wasn't as long as you had wished.

And really, the same goes for Jenna.

I have no doubt that your granny has been right here with you, helping you through this. She's with Jenna, and you have the comfort in knowing that you couldn't have asked for a better person to meet your daughter when she left you.

I hope your days get easier. *HUGS*