Today is Tessa's sixth birthday, but it is also nine months to the day that we found out that Jenna had died. I have tried to focus on Tessa's birthday, so I wouldn't ruin the day for her. Tomorrow, it will have been nine months since Jenna was born, and I think I'll let myself grieve then.
Tonight, we were at my mom's, and my brother said something insensitive. I tried to say something back to him but my nudged me and shushed me. I was so mad, at her and at him. I hate how she plays favorites, but it also brings back memories of what he said to me several months ago. He told me that Jenna's death was God's way of telling me we shouldn't have any more children.
Even though my belief in God is sketchy right now, it still bothered me that he said it. You don't say something like that to a grieving parent. He also asked me once if Jenna looked like a real baby and why would I want to see that. He just isn't the most sensitive person on the planet, and if I didn't love his wife and sons, I would probably avoid him a lot more than what I do.
Anyway, I brought it up tonight to my mom that I didn't appreciate her nudging me and shushing me, and she said she didn't want a fuss. Well, why didn't she say something to him? It's because he is her favorite, always has been. I told her about the things he had said in the past, and you know what she said, "Well, he probably shouldn't have said it, but....," and launched into a defense of him.
No, he shouldn't have said it, period, not probably shouldn't have said. How do you get past someone saying that to you, especially when it's your brother?
Should I just let it go? It doesn't help that him being insensitive tonight of all nights just brought up all of his insensitive comments in the past.
Living Room with Fireplace Design Ideas
2 years ago