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Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mother's Day

I've been writing a column for the newspaper where I'm working part time. We named it Blink and You Miss It, a play on my last name, which is often mispronounced as blink.

The three I've written so far have been about funny subjects, although I'm no where near as funny as one of my co-workers who also writes a column. They asked me to write something for Mother's Day this week.

I sat down to write something funny, but I couldn't come up with anything. Then, I decided to write about Tessa and her being born on Mother's Day (she'll be six on Monday, sob), but even then, I had so much trouble coming up with what I wanted to say.

I finally figured out the problem. I couldn't write a funny column about Mother's Day because this is such a bittersweet day for me. On the one hand, I have the memories of Tessa's birth and how special that day was for me. I'm excited about having a new baby growing inside me right now, but I am also sad because I miss my Jenna.

I also have a heaviness on my heart for all those women who lost their first babies. I know how lucky I am to have Tessa here with me, but my friends don't. I know they are so afraid people won't consider them mothers, but they are. It doesn't matter that their children never took a breath. They are still mothers because they loved those babies more than anything.

So, I decided to write a column about what it's like to lose a baby. I informed them about what Trisomy 18 is, and I also told them if they knew someone who had lost a baby to mention that baby by name. Here's my column for the week. I hope my followers here on my blog read it and know that even though I did it for myself, I also did it for them, because I carry those women in my heart always.

I also hope that it might help someone in my community who has been through it and might make others see how we feel. Maybe it will even open up some dialogue.

Here's the link.


JenJen said...

OH Tamara,

I sit here with tears pouring down my face~ your article was beautiful. I certainly hope that this article will remind people that we are mommies, too.

Mother's day will never be a completely joyous day for me, even if I have 10 kids one day~ Lily's absence will forever keep my heart from singing...

Thank you for your beautiful article!

Beth said...

Thank you so much for your article! It made me cry, too. I really appreciate how you included us...that means so much to me.

Mirna said...

Thank you ....

Claudia said...

Thank you for your post, your blog and your Mother's Day article. No, not everyone understands or ever will understand what it is we go through, but, somehow, it makes it easier to know that there are other moms out there who lost and survived this struggle.
I had been following your blog since December and our daughter, Maddox, was stillborn in January. She had Turner Syndrome and my heart aches something horribly. Like you, I am definitely thankful for our other daughter (who is 3). She makes each day bearable.