I Miss Her Today

I miss Jenna today, but I miss her everyday. Today is National Trisomy 18 Awareness Day, which I think is why she is so much on my mind.

I know if she had been born, she wouldn't have been healthy. While some babies with Trisomy 18 live longer these days, she was so affected, she would not have been able to. But I imagine her healthy and whole. She would be a toddler now, starting to get into everything, learning to talk, learning everything about the world.

It's hard to see little girls who are the age she would be. I wonder if it will always be that way. In 10 years, will I be looking at middle school students and wondering what Jenna would have been like at that age. I hope I will. Because if I don't, it means I've lost touch with the feelings I had for her, and I don't want that to happen.

I imagine her in Heaven, because even though I'm still not sure how I feel about the whole religion thing, I do believe there is a special place we all go when we die, in my granny's arms, happy and healthy there. That picture comforts me on the days when I miss her so much.

So, today, please think of Jenna and all the other babies who have or have had Trisomy 18. Maybe one day, it will be preventable, and if not preventable, maybe the children who have it won't be so severely affected.