My template

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


"You just remember that tomorrow, when you meet your daughter, on the first day of the last decade of the entire 20th century, you'll be meeting the person that'll be holding your hand when it's your time to go. And even then, Charlene, she won't be alone. They'll be there."

The above quote is from the show Designing Women, and it's been one of my favorite quotes from the show since I found out Tessa was a girl. I liked the idea that she would be there for me when I go, but also, that she wouldn't be alone, that she would be surrounded by all those we have loved and lost.

There is something about being the mother of a daughter. I have been lucky to do it three times, and each one has taught me something new. Before Tessa, I had only experienced unconditional love from my granny. My spunky, dramatic and funny Tessa taught me the true meaning of it, that I would do anything and everything for her, that she could do anything and it wouldn't matter; I am going to love her and her sisters today, tomorrow and forever. I learned so much from my angel Jenna that it's hard to narrow it down into one thing, but I guess what sticks out the most is that life will knock you down sometimes with a sorrow so intense you don't want to ever get back up again but you have to. And you have to push on no matter what happens. And, from my sweet Ella, I learned there is always, always a rainbow, a brightness, after the storm.

My best friend is finally getting to experience this for herself. She and her husband struggled with infertility for years. She never thought they would be able to conceive, and it affected their marriage. Right before they were going to divorce, she found out she was pregnant. Today, Kendall Dean Burks was born, and Kaycee said she and her husband are happier than they've been in the 11 years they've known each other.

How do I tell her she is about to embark on a journey so wonderful, yet so stressful? How do I warn her that Kendall's hurts are going to be her hurts? How do I put into the words the joy of hearing "Momma" the first time from that sweet little mouth? I don't actually think there are words to describe it, honestly. I think there are only feelings and emotions. And, while motherhood is the hardest job she is ever going to do, it is also the most rewarding, the most wonderful, she will ever encounter.

I guess I can't tell her, but I know she's going to find out. And, I am so happy she is going to get the experience. And sometime in the distant future, Kendall will be there by her side, just as Tessa and Ella will be by mine, just as it should be with mothers and daughters.


Anonymous said...

thank for share, it is very important . ̄︿ ̄

JenJen said...

How exciting for your friend! I personally have never understood allowing infertility to affect your marriage to the point of divorce but I can everyone manages stress differently. Little Kendal came in the nick of time :)

I will (probably) never know the dynamics of a mother/daughter relationship with an (living)offspring...but, there is a whole lot to be said for having a momma's boy, too! So, glad that you are able to offer unconditional love to your daughters and I know they will always remember that about you :)