Feeling down tonight

Tonight was Tessa's fall festival at her school. She had a great time along with Luke and Elijah, but being there just made me feel bad. It's like I had a secret, and none of them knew it. The secret was my broken heart and sorrow over losing Jenna. I think I've said this before, but I feel like I'm beyond people who haven't had this kind of loss.

I think a part of it was there was so many children there with their siblings, and Tessa will never have that opportunity with Jenna. It just isn't fair. A lot of tiny baby girls were there, too, and it's so hard to see them. I want my baby girl here with me.

I'm also feeling down because my cycle is so off this time. I've been getting highs on my fertility monitor for eight days now but no peak. I thought I had already ovulated because of my basal body temps but fertility friend isn't giving me my coverline. Here's my chart if anyone wants to look and give me advice.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1f3338

Also, since I lost my job last week, I've probably applied for 30 freelance jobs. The only ones I've heard back from are the scams. I have the experience, the clips, the know how, why aren't I getting any responses?