Second grade, here she comes

Tessa's principal finally called me yesterday and apologized profusely for not getting back to me sooner, saying he had taken two weeks off. I totally understand that, and I don't fault him for it at all. I just wanted to talk to him sooner because I am impatient.

I explained to him what the test results showed and also what the psychologist and the pediatrician said. I told him I wanted her to go to the second grade, but to be placed in the resource reading group. I also said I wanted her teacher to give her a bit of extra time with the work she has to do and offer additional instructions if needed. He agreed.

When I get the reports from the psychologist, I am supposed to call him so we can set up a meeting with her second grade teacher and the resource teacher. We will write up a plan of action, although we have decided not to do a formal IEP at this point.

If I see that our plan isn't being followed, I will insist on getting one then. Last year, the school had a tutoring program in the afternoons, and if they receive the funding for it again, Tessa will do that, too. Her psychologist did warn about doing too much school, so he recommended we only do tutoring once a week.

I feel comfortable with the decision to let her go on to second grade, a lot more comfortable than I did with the idea of holding her back. She is going to need help. I know that, but I know for the sake of her self esteem she needs to go on with her classmates. The principal said he thinks the medicine will help with some of her problems, and I think they will, too.

Speaking of meds, we go back to the doctor tomorrow, and I am going to ask him to lower her dose. Some days, she is really good, basically herself but calm, but it's the other days that bother me. On those, she is either flat with no emotion whatsoever, or she is prone to burst into tears with no apparent reason. I don't want that for her.

Her pediatrician told me last week we could lower the dose if I wanted, but I wanted to try it for two weeks. Now, I wish I had done it. If lowering the dose doesn't work, I am going to ask to try another drug.

Ready for fall

I am so ready for fall. It's always been my favorite time of the year. I have said it before, but I always associate fall with new beginnings, mainly because of school starting back. And, this fall, I will be starting my senior semester of college. That means, I'll be graduating next May, baby. Yippee.

I can't tell you how excited I am about this and how proud I am of myself. I am planning to go back and get my masters degree, but I want to work a while first. I am looking into working for social services or a local counseling center. Social services pays more, but I'll get better experience with the counseling center.

I am so proud of myself, especially considering what I went through the last two semesters. I was pregnant during the fall semester and in October went on bed rest. Luckily, I was going online, and I was proud to bring home three As and a C. The C was in Astronomy. During the spring semester, I was adjusting to life with a newborn and a six-year-old, along with taking the hardest class of my life, statistics. I managed to make two As and two Bs.

This fall, I am taking 16 hours. My classes are Behavioral Modification, Foundations of Mental Health Counseling, Learning Theories, Research Methods and its lab, and Sociology of Families. Two of my classes are on campus, and the rest are online. I hope I don't kill myself.

I finished my financial aid stuff last night, and it said that I am eligible for a grant. It doesn't mean I will get one, but if I do, that will be great. It will mean less to pay back in loans.

Brandy's Bald Baby Bands Review and Give-A-Way

***If you are viewing this at www.babycenter.com, please visit my blog at http://motherhoodthesequel.blogspot.com to enter the contest.

After two little boys, Brandy Peck was super excited when she found out she was having a girl. People asked her if Rylee was a girl or a boy, even if she was rocking all pink and earrings. "I decided if she was wearing a huge flower on her head on her head, then no one would ask me anymore," she said, "and it actually worked. Finally everyone was telling me how cute my little girl was."

Brandy's Bald Baby Bands were born. The idea for the name came because Rylee is still pretty much bald. Brandy loves making the items, and she has branched out from just flower headbands to butterfly and bow headbands, flower barrettes and adorable tutus.

Brandy sent me a brown headband with a pink flower to review. I loved the stretchy material of the headband. Tessa put it on, and it stretched to fit her seven-year-old noggin. It looked pretty cute on her, too. The flower is securely attached to the headband.

Ella did not find it to be annoying at all. She left it on for quite a while and wore it out to eat with the family. We got tons of compliments on her newest accessory. It went adorably with her pink and brown outfit. Isn't pink and brown the most awesome color combination for baby girls? The headband is a dark brown with the flower graduating from light pink to dark pink.

One lucky reader is going to win a headband. Even if you have a little boy, these would make a great gift for someone with a little girl.

To win, you must first do the mandatory entry. Go to http://brandysbaldbabybands.webs.com/ and then leave a comment here about what product you would want and in what color combination.


Extra entries (leave a separate comment for each one):


1. Become a follower of mine on here (if you are already a follower, just tell me) 2 entries


2. Vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs 2 entries

3. Like Brandy's Bald Baby Bands on Facebook www.facebook.com/brandygeorgepeck 2 entries

A winner will be chosen July 17 by http://www.random.org/. Thanks so much, and thanks to Brandy for providing the headband for the give-a-way.

Two years ago today

When I think back to the last day I was truly happy without a tinge of sadness or without a bittersweet feeling, my mind drifts to Fourth of July weekend 2008. We went to my aunt's house for a cookout. We shot fireworks. I was looking forward to my doctor's appointment on the following Monday because I knew we would set up my big ultrasound to find out what I was carrying. I was 16 weeks.

Dr. McGowen asked me at that appointment if we wanted to do the AFP test. I wanted to do it, mainly thinking of Down Syndrome and Spina Bifida. I did it because I wanted to be prepared if I was going to have a baby with one of those disorders. I didn't even really think about Trisomy 18. I wasn't going to have a baby with a fatal disorder. That kind of thing hadn't happened in my family in years. Our babies had almost always been healthy.

Two days later, July 9, I received a call at work about my AFP results. A one in 10 chance of Trisomy 18, she said, and started to reassure me about false positives. I just remember saying, "That's the one that's incompatible with life, right?"

Everyone tried to reassure me about the odds. A 90 percent chance she didn't have it, they said, but I knew deep down she did, especially after we went to the level ultrasound the next day.

Today starts a bad time of the year for me. Last year, I went into a funk that started July 9 and lasted about two months. I don't want that to happen again this year. I read on another deadbabymomma's (our name for ourselves for my blogger friends who don't know) blog about not just grieving their deaths but also celebrating their lives. I really want to do that with Jenna.

She lived, even if it was for just a short period of time. She changed my life. She changed my focus and made me see what life is really about. Her life pushed me to change mine. I am back in school, pursuing an old goal because she existed. I don't avoid people who have experienced a loss of a child, even though I used to. Now, I offer my support. Her life did all of that for me.

So, I am trying to think of small ways to celebrate her life between now and Aug. 12, with some kind of bigger celebration that day. I want something people all over the world can participate in because her story touched so many people all over the world. She was so small, yet she touched so many. I am open to ideas if anyone has any.

Week one of ADHD meds, update on incontinence issue

I honestly admit I was a little scared about what kind of change the medication would have on Tessa. She is very spunky and high spirited, and I did not want to change that. I just wanted her to be a bit more compliant when I asked her to do something, not have so many meltdowns and do better at school.

Her first day on the medication was a Friday. She usually goes and plays for a few hours at my aunt's house (she lives across the street), because my aunt's grandchildren stay over there while their mom is at work. I didn't let her go over there because I wanted to see if she had any kind of reaction. She didn't eat much that day and was very calm, until late afternoon. We were getting ready to go eat with our family, and we were at my aunt's house because she always rides with us. Tessa had a meltdown of epic proportions. She was crying, rubbing her eyes and scratching her cheeks. I almost called the doctor right then.

I decided to give it another couple of days to see if she had another reaction. She had a small meltdown on Saturday afternoon, but nothing like Friday night. She had another meltdown on Monday afternoon, but we are doing well since then. Most of these meltdowns have been late in the afternoon when the meds were wearing off.

I almost can't believe the change in her. She's still spunky, but she minds me so much better. She doesn't pitch fits if she doesn't get her way. She can sit and play with one set of toys for hours at a time instead of bouncing between them. She also doesn't get frustrated. Yesterday, she was playing with her Barbies and dressing them. The strap broke on one of her outfits. Before the meds, this would have been the cause of at least a 30 minute meltdown. I suggested a fix, and she was fine with it.

While Tessa loved to be read to, she would never volunteer to read on her own at all. Yesterday, she grabbed some books out of her room and sat down on the couch and read them. She needed help with some of the bigger words, but she read most of them on her own. I do think the meds are going to help with her problem of processing information.

My biggest issues were her not eating after she takes it, the meltdowns in the late afternoon and how calm she was. She was never zombie-like at all, just a lot more calm than what I am used to. My cousin said it's just because we are so used to her being loud and up. We saw the doctor today, and he agreed.

Tessa had lost four pounds. He said that while she's not overweight, it's not going to hurt her to lose a few pounds. She weighs 69 pounds now, and he doesn't want her to get below 60. I have to weigh her twice a week to keep an eye on it. We go back next Thursday.

We talked about her incontinence issue today. She had to pee in a cup, which she found totally disgusting. She also had to have blood drawn. I was honestly dreading it so much, but she didn't even cry. I thought we might need, oh, 10 people to hold her down, but she did wonderfully. He also sent her for an x-ray of her stomach to see if she's constipated which could cause the incontinence.

He is making her an appointment with a urologist. He thinks she might have something called reflux or a problem with the neck of the bladder. We will see. I just hope it's an easy fix that doesn't require surgery.

Offline for almost a week

Last Friday night, I was all set to write two blog posts, but I first wanted to put a color on my hair and do a little laundry. When I finished, I came back in the living room, sat down at computer and couldn't do a thing.

I had gotten a virus called AV Security Suite. If you see this on your computer, run a virus scan on it before you click on anything else. I use AVG Security for my virus protection, and I probably clicked on the AV Security Suite without even thinking about it.

It wouldn't let me do anything at all. In fact, the only thing I could do was turn my computer on and off. I took it to my computer repair guy, and to make a long story short, he did more harm than good. I finally wound up taking it to someone else, and I got back today. It's like I have a new computer, but I lost a ton of stuff.

Most of it, I had backed up, but some freelance writing I did back in May and June is gone along with the pictures of the day Ella was born. I am heartbroken over the pictures. The writing, not so much as I might be able to salvage some of it from e-mails.

I can't believe how out of the loop I felt without my computer. I felt totally cut off from the outside world to some degree because I get my news online and communicate with a lot of my friends online.

But, now, I'm back and I'll be having my first give-a-way in the next day or two. Keep an eye out for that.

A new pediatrician and about meds

We saw her new pediatrician today, and I loved him. He came into the room and began talking to Tessa first before he said a word to me. This really put her at ease, and she also loves him a lot. I feel like he totally listened to my concerns and didn't blow us off.

He is prescribing her Vyvanase. Has anyone had any experience with it? My neighbor took it, and she had horrible sweats with it so she moved on to Adderall. My only worry with it is how expensive it is, but if it works and helps her, I will gladly pay the price.

I also wanted to discuss her incontinence issues with him today. Any time Tessa laughs really, really hard, she pees on herself. She tells me that once she starts peeing, she can't stop herself. Brian's mom and a cousin both had an issue with the tubes going from the bladder to the kidney being too short, and my cousin has the exact same thing, too. Brian's mom actually had to have one of her kidney's removed as it had "died," as she put it.

We have to go back next Thursday to see how she is doing with the meds, and he said we would discuss the incontinence issue then. He was afraid it would be too much stress on her today, but he did want to talk about it since the problem always happens during the day and never at night. She has never had one over night accident since she potty trained.

I am very happy with this doctor and am glad my friend recommended him. I just hope we will see a good difference with the medication. When I said in my last post that I was afraid of her being a zombie on medication, I didn't mean I was totally against it. I feel medication has it's place.

I take anti-depressants. I've suffered from depression since college. It helps me, and I take it. I reason that if I had a headache, I would take something for it. Since depression is as much an illness as a headache, I will take the meds for it. I feel the same way about the medication for ADHD.